Weekly WW

I feel like I'm grasping to get back on the point trackin', celebration clappin' bandwagon. I have no doubt slacked severely in my tracking, and the sad thing it, I know it works. I'm doing better this week though. Success at the scale gave me a boost of confidence, and the fact that July is next week was a reminder that I'll have been doing WW for 6 months.

So, I lost 1.2 this week, and I got 3 separate comments from coworkers in the past two days that I look like I've lost weight, which is very sweet. I haven't been wearing any special skinny-costume, and I've actually felt rather dumpy this week, but it was very nice of them to comment. It's encouraging that I'm actually getting somewhere.

Meal prep is getting easier. I have my moments when I crave chips or ice cream, but those moments are fewer lately, and I cut back on weekend food and alcohol consumption, since it seems like the first 7 or 8 weeks of spring were full of parties and cookouts.

So, my friends, I am progressing. There is a rumor that the sun may come out on Thursday, and if it does, I am taking my lunch break and going for a walk, because goodness knows I need some warmth and light. Sean is a sweetheart though, I was having a bad day yesterday, with a stomachache and headache and just feeling "meh", and he got me some sunshine...

Bridezillas

Oh my Lord...I can't look away, but this bride is requiring that her bridesmaids weigh at least 200 lbs so that she "looks the best". She told her friend that she looks really skinny in a dress, and then when the girl said thank you, she said "That's a problem! You're not supposed to look skinny!"

Really? There are people out there like that? I know a coworker was telling me her cousin who is getting married wanted all of her girls to lose at least 10 lbs. I just can't believe there are women out there who are so shallow. Bridesmaids aren't supposed to be your skinniest and prettiest friends and family. Likewise, they're not supposed to be your fattest and ugliest, in order to make you look good. They're supposed to be the women who you love the most, who you have known the longest, who love you and support you.

I honestly think I would slap someone across the face if they required me to change my looks in order to be in their wedding. I'd rather sit in my own dress and eat 3 pieces of cake.

On the Subject of Resigning Leases...

I just mentioned that tomorrow night we are resigning our lease. This is kind of a big deal.

Since graduating college, getting a job, and moving to Connecticut, I have lived in three different apartments/houses in three years. My first year here, I lived with a girl who Sean went to school with, who I was somewhat friends with but not terribly close, and it was a miserable year for both of us. We just should not have lived together (very long story resulting in broken friendships). The apartment was not meant for two people to live in (without sharing a room) and I lived in a dining room for a year. Not so fun.

My second year, I moved to Fairfield into a multifamily house with two other girls. Their third roommate had moved to New Hampshire to live with her boyfriend, and since they had all been close friends all through school and had already lived with each other for a year or two, I was "the roommate". They were very welcoming and sweet, and I actually loved living with them. But once Sean and I decided that we would live together the following year, they decided to also go their separate ways.

So last June I packed up yet again and Sean and I moved into a multifamily, with our Christmas-loving 93 year old upstairs neighbor, and the washer/drier that sounds like a perpetual hamster wheel while it's running. It has been an amazing year.

The best part about all this? We are resigning our lease tomorrow! For the first time in 3 years, I do not have to pack up my things, rent a U-Haul, and schlep it all somewhere new. I don't need to change my address or phone number. I don't have to recalculate my commute. I don't need to notify my relatives of an address change. I'm STAYING! And it makes me so happy!

We have really made a home together, and this is the first place I've truly felt at home, because it's with him. It's not "his stuff and her stuff", it's our stuff. We've worked hard at keeping the place up. We love cooking together. We've had some great parties, and this place has provided probably the best setting for the changes that came with moving in together. People talk about how hard it is to move in with a significant other. Yes, there have been challenging times, but it's been pretty damn wonderful! I love going to bed together, I love waking up and kissing him goodbye when I have to leave for work. I love that we don't have to worry about roommates coming home at inopportune times. I love that our stuff just naturally goes together (although I will argue that I have better decorative tastes - it doesn't stop him from keeping his geek-art up in the office).

So cheers to Year One! It has been probably the best year of my life so far, for so many reasons. The one I am focusing on right now, at this moment, is that I don't have to pack again!

Domestic Goddess

This past week, I was beginning to feel a little smothered. It was becoming apparent that there was no real differentiation between our clean and dirty clothes in the bedroom. I had gotten into a minor bad habit of piling clean clothes on the hope chest instead of immediately folding and putting away. Well, the hope chest is in front of the air conditioner, so needless to say, the clothes wound up on the floor, mixing in oh so well with a few dirty items that didn't find their way to the hamper in the corner.

I dedicated my day to laundry, and successfully washed, dried, folded AND put away 4 loads, including our bedding. I feel like a rock star. Is that sad?

Of course, with a marathon laundry day also came dusting, because I opened the curtains and let in some natural light and saw just how nasty the various surfaces in the house had become.

This all comes on the eve of resigning our lease, because I really don't want the landlord to walk in and think we've turned his house into a pit. We're not terribly sloppy people, but we definitely have our days. I think he'll be pleased with what he sees, if he really cares. Well, I care. That's all that really matters.

Weekly Weigh-In

No loss or gain this week. I attribute that to forgetting my "weigh in flip flops" and having to step on the scale in my chunky heels, but anyways, staying accountable is the goal. It's getting easier to prepare healthier meals and make better choices. I feel like I'm taking baby steps, but it's definitely a pace that's working for me. And the pants nearly falling off is also encouraging. The idea of needing to buy new pants anytime soon is another story...

I feel like it's all anyone talks about these days, but the rain has really been discouraging physical activity for me. I usually use the gym anyways, but on days like this, I just want to go home and curl up with dinner and a glass of wine in my sweatpants. I went to the gym last night, and it seemed deserted by comparison. I got in a good 35 minute walk/run, but my lack of physical activity lately made it apparent I have to work my way back up.

If I need any motivation, this past Tuesday marked the 7 month countdown to the wedding. I haven't tried on The Dress since I bought it, and I don't plan on trying it on again until maybe October. I'm proud of the progress I have made, because at the end of the day, I'm still down 13 lbs from where I was when I purchased The Dress. I know I can lose more, I just hope the sun comes out sometime soon. I think everyone could use a lift in their lives lately.

Friday Horoscope

If you are artistically inclined, you would be wise to do something with your creativity today. You can tap into a deep vein of symbolism now by allowing yourself to sink into your own silence. But then you must consciously make a choice to bring your experience out into the open by turning it into something that others can appreciate.

Well, if that doesn't speak volumes...

So, I broke my camera...

In a "it's only funny if you were there" way, I dropped my camera Saturday night at a friend's cookout, attempting to turn around in my chair to take a picture of the fire, and it broke. I tried several times to turn it off and turn it on, and the lens, which was zoomed out, would not retract. So, for about $200, I could get it fixed. Or I could take this opportunity to save up some money and get the camera I really want, which would be a digital SLR. 

Sean has a digital camera that his parents got him which is "less than great", but it serves it's purpose for candids and capturing memories that we might wish to record in coming months. So that's not a problem. I just don't know how long it will take to save up for the camera I want, given that I need to do some research and figure out exactly what that camera is. In the meantime, I want to take some time to organize my picture folders, clear out the junky, blurry, "there was really no point in taking this picture" stuff, and work on editing some of my older shots. 

There are a couple lessons here:

• You will only break expensive items when you already have things such as weddings and houses to save up for.
  
• Do not drink beer and try to take pictures from an "artsy" angle over pavement. 
  
• Use the damn wrist strap.
  

You may now return to your previously scheduled life. 

Back to Basics

My name is Shazzie, and I fell off the wagon. But I'm climbing back on!

Yesterday, I went to my WW meeting after missing the past two weeks. It felt like I had been gone for months! I hadn't realized quite how far my motivation had slipped, and I knew I needed a refresher and to get back to the basics. I had stopped tracking. I had stopped working out. I was allowing myself to eat and drink everything in sight, without a second thought (except a pang of guilt every once in a while). 

So here I am, refreshed and ready to kick myself in the ass for the coming weeks to be a better person. I know what I need to eat and do to be healthy, and I'm the only one holding myself back. It's simply amazing how much of a mental battle it is to break all these bad habits. But I feel stronger and more motivated than ever to take the progress I've made, and kick it up a notch. I've lost over 10 lbs. Great. Now it's time to lose some more. 

I am also going to do a bit to restyle this blog and make it more interesting, because it is way to easy to just fall into the same old posting topics of work, diet, and daily to-do lists. Should I create a weekly format with different types of posts each day? Is posting every day too much? I want to post things that I find interesting or funny, but that other people would want to read,  too. 

On a side note, this weather is totally cramping my style lately. There has been so much rain, I swear, I haven't blow dried my hair in over a month, and I look kind of like a hobo-fisherman today with my galoshes and vest...Seriously, sign me up for What Not To Wear!

On a happier note, it's not Monday!

Cheers!

You may or may not have noticed I haven't been updating my Weight Watchers progress. It's because there hasn't been any. I had a breakthrough week about a month ago and have been fluxuating between the same 2-4 lbs for a month now. I missed the past two weeks' meetings due to Memorial Day and not getting out of work on time this past Monday, so hopefully I can come back strong this coming Monday and I will keep you posted.

I have had such a lovely rainy day. I get out a 1 now on Fridays, and Sean and I just kind of lazed around the house all afternoon. It was so nice. We napped while watching Dog Whisperer, ran an errand to the grocery store and have been nursing wine all evening. I watched Serendipity on the kitchen TV while cooking dinner (our first date movie) and now Con Air is on, which is one of my favorite ensemble cast movies (John Cusack, John Malkovich, and Steve Buscemi, what's not to love?).

I have a mountain of laundry on my bed that needs folding before I can pass out comfortably. I think I need to invent a robot that does laundry for you. I think that would be swell. And it would also tell me I look pretty.

When I Grow Up...

Sometimes I wonder what I would do with my life if money and paying bills and rent and having any sort of responsibility wasn't an issue...When you're little, you want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a unicorn...And then you explore different areas and find things that bring you to life, that you're truly passionate about.

I would love to be a dancer. I watch Dancing With the Stars and SYTYCD, and I am just enthralled with the way people can move their bodies so expressively. It's beautiful! I love Idol and all, but there's something about dance that takes it all to a whole other level of performance. I wish I could do ballroom, and tap, and lyrical, and all of it. I wish I had that kind of precise control over my body.

I would be a chef at a restaurant that I own. Everyone would love me and come to me for all the interesting and delicious dishes I could concoct. It would be a small restaurant, the kind like on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives, that mostly gets regular customers, but some tourist would stumble upon and it would be the highlight of their trip to such a random small town.

I would be a nomad, just to say I was a nomad.

I would love to be that person on the Travel Channel that does shows about different hotels around the world, getting complimentary stays at 5 star world class hotels and getting paid to travel, eat, and sleep all things fabulous.

And lastly, I would be a photographer. Not to make money or be popular for weddings or anything like that, but for the love of the art. To see that one angle or moment that stops me dead in my tracks and has to be captured to share with the rest of the world. Yes.

I'm working on my dreams. How about you?

Vacation? Can I Has It?

I apologize for my lack of posts and even more for my lack of having anything interesting to say. I feel like life is racing by right now and I'm grasping onto the edge of everything I need to get done, just getting by. I wish I had a day where I could just use my time to catch up, but when it seems I am having one of those days, 10 new things get dumped onto my plate. Such is life, I suppose. 

Work has been steady and I think that's what's attributing to my stress level and how quickly the weeks are going. There isn't time to think! Add to that a fairly busy evening schedule, and I have had next to no time to focus on exercising and eating right, resulting in  2 lb. gain. 

I am thinking more and more of what I'd like to do for a vacation this summer, and I'm thinking that I really don't want to do anything. I just want a week to come and go as I please, to sleep in if I want or go to the beach if I want. To maybe take a day trip, and to take some time to work on my own, personal, non-wedding-related projects that I never take the time for. 

So I will be requesting this time at the end of August, as something to look forward to at the end of summer. I was looking forward to July and August being fairly quiet on the weekends, and they're already filling up with camping overnights and barbecues and potential shows to see. 

How does anyone ever find time to relax?