Have a Little Faith in Me

I've never claimed to be a good, consistent blogger, but I feel like as of late, I have been slacking. Not for lack of what to write about, but I have just been running myself ragged. Work really picked up this past month, we've had fairly busy weekends now that it's warming up, and I just feel like I have less and less time for myself lately. I haven't even done any heavy duty wedding planning, because I've been getting home and have been utterly exhausted. By the time I squeeze in a workout, cook dinner, and sit down to eat, I just want to watch a show, read, and go to sleep. 

I have also been experiencing headaches more frequently. They have run from just annoying aches during the day to full blown migraines that have laid me out for a day or two (2 in 2 months). I consulted my doctor last week and she seems to think they are stress induced from work and planning a wedding. I don't think wedding planning has been causing sufficient stress to cause even a mild headache, so I'm putting this on work. It has just been very difficult. Without divulging much, I've been going through a bit of a career change of heart. The only thing is, I don't know what I want to do. I enjoy the graphics work, and I'm pretty sure I'm good at it. I'll be taking a private design course in the next month or so to polish my skills and go a bit more in depth on the basics of design, composition, and working with type. I want so badly to be gung ho about it, but I just haven't been. I've felt so...apathetic. 

I'm sure everyone has these feelings about their job at some point. I have felt them for some time, but have repressed them, needing to suck it up and "soldier on". I have never been one to keep myself in a negative situation if I can help it. It wears you down when day in and day out, you are forced to face someone or something that you absolutely cannot stand to be near. So what to do about it? 

I am a faithful person. I go to church, I try to be the best person I can be, accepting my faults and trying to improve upon them. I find so much peace in my faith, and I experienced a major renewal this past Easter. I felt on top of the world. And my work just seemed to crush me not two days later. This is not a place that makes me feel good like I am doing something worthwhile. I remember just sitting at church, listening to the homilies about the poor economy, how it's helping people make better decisions about their families, how they spend their time, improving upon their way of life by simplifying and prioritizing what's truly important. 

So why do I feel stuck? Why do I feel pangs of guilt when I think to myself that there's something better I can be doing with my life? How do I take the first steps in the right direction when I don't know what that direction is yet? 

So I will be praying, for guidance and for strength. I obviously need to keep working to pay bills and make a living. But I also need to listen to what my heart is telling me, and to seriously start looking into going back to school. 

Robert Downey Jr. Sings

I wasn't kidding comparing Gokey to Robert Downey Jr. Check out this video. It's kind of long, but it's clips of RDJ on Ally McBeal (one of my favorite shows of all-time). The first song is especially awesome, if you watch it just for that...

Idol Quick Picks - Top 5 Week

Could they have picked a better theme for last night? The Rat Pack. Solid standards, songs that would either sound amazing or butchered, depending on the arrangement...And folks, I honestly don't know who will leave tonight. So let's assess:

Kris Allen - Well, it took him getting into the top 5 for me to remember how to spell his name. He sang The Way You Look Tonight, one of my favorites (I love Fred Astaire's version best), and I thought he did a pretty good job. I don't think his voice cracking up into his falsetto was well stylized for this genre, but it's his thing as an "artist". B+

Allison I.....can't spell her last name - Allison looked lovely and cute in her more classy rocker chick getup. She sang Someone to Watch Over Me, and while she did a great job with it, it was kind of predictable. I was afraid she'd be in danger, so I voted for her. At least 10 times. She might be done tonight, but I hope not. B

Matt G - Matt sang probably the most vocally challenging song of the evening, My Funny Valentine, and although he did it well, there's just something about his voice that I don't love anymore. He has such a great raw voice, but when he starts doing runs and dips and putting his own "flair" on an already great song, it doesn't impress me. He's my hopeful pick to go home tonight. B-

Danny Gokey - I've heard many say Danny could win this competition with the entire Christian Right voting for him, which is true, but- he does have a great voice. He very much reminds me of Robert Downey Jr., beyond the looks. He has a very rough, sexy voice, but he's also very passionate about his music. He's not just doing this on a whim, this has been his career path for a while. I think last night's performance of Come Rain or Come Shine was one of his best. Unfortunately, the "good boy" charm is wearing off. He's lacking a lot of the personality I really loved at the beginning of the show. The guy's probably just damn tired. A-

Adam Lambert - I feel so wrong trying to judge the other contestants in comparison to him, because he's just been in a different league from day 1. Let's face it, the swaggering entrance down the stairs, the white suit (which he Twittered that he spilled salsa on after the show), and his flawless performance of Feeling Good all makes up the star-package that this show is all about. If you don't like him because he wears black nail polish and eyeliner, get over it. He has the vocal range (or more, perhaps) of Steven Tyler, and he will go far beyond the Kodak Theatre. You're the winner in my book, Adam. A+

A Woman on a Mission

Knowing full well that this weekend's weather would be gorgeous, I planned on taking care of planting our garden and getting the patio area set up for barbecue season. I have now spent close to 3 hours cleaning the inside of the house like a crazy woman, because Sean found (ew) a dead mouse yesterday and I am so paranoid of having any dust, food crumbs or anything you can build a nest with in the house.

Please don't get grossed out, our house is never really all that messy, but it's needed a good wipedown since winter, so I've been tearing through everything trying to de-clutter a bit and get the surfaces swept, mopped, dusted and vacuumed.

I'm not too upset about spending a lot of today inside, we're going for a hike tomorrow with friends, so it will be a hot, sunny, sweaty day for sure.

I hope you are enjoying your weekend, whatever you may be doing!

Today's Horoscope...

...is right on.

Libra - Although you may feel as if others are still being pushy, it doesn't bother you as much today because you have the strength to easily stand up for yourself. Your integrity is your most powerful weapon now; if you are in harmony with your soul's purpose, then no one will be able to come between you and your destiny.

I started using Google horoscopes on my homepage about 2 weeks ago, and it's been freakishly accurate. I often wonder if it scans my personal emails and creates something regarding the content.

Do you follow a horoscope? Do you take them seriously?

Shmorgasbord

This will be more like a "Twitter-post" since I've been pretty crazy these past few days and have been a neglectful blogger (don't hate me!)

Weigh In - Down .2 lbs at Mondays weigh-in. Not shabby for hanging out with friends Friday night, Saturday night, and most of Sunday. With plenty of alcohol, tacos, chips, dips, cake, candy and Thai food consumed, I'm quite pleased with any sort of loss.

Idol - I now have rapid Tweet-sessions with two amazing gals during Idol (Sean just rolls his eyes) where we critique the contestants ("Holy Pants, Allison!") and stick it to the judges ("Randy-ism drinking games, anyone? Anytime he says "dawg", "We got a hot one tonight!" or "Man, you can really sing!" take a shot"). It's good times all-around.

I honestly have no idea what will happen tonight. With two going home, I'm actually worried there will be a major upset. It's been obvious that Lil and Matt have been suffering. What if they got a sudden surge of symmpathy or support, and someone who is actually talented goes home? We'll just have to wait and see.

Wedding - I feel like I haven't really done anything in about 2 months, which is fine, because other areas of my life have needed more focus (note: Work = Hell), but we're doing our engagement pictures at the end of May, and there are a couple things that need to get done in the near future (DJ, Save the Dates, cake tasting needs to be scheduled, decide if we're going to have we can afford a videographer). It'll get done, I have no worries. I sometimes think other people worry about my wedding's details more than me.

Aaaaaand with that, I'm going to go enjoy some sushi, sparkling cranberry juice (so tempted to add some vodka and a lime), and watch Idol.

Cheers!

Weekly Weigh-In

This week: -1.8
Total Loss w/WW: -6.6
Total Loss since 1/1/09: -11.8

I finally got my gold 5lb star at WW this week! I am giving myself a huge pat on the back, because this loss is further pushing me to keep going no matter how hard it gets.

As of this morning, I was down another almost 2 pounds, putting me into the next "decade" down, so if I am able to maintain that or lose more by next Monday, I will lose a WW daily point. I never thought I'd be so happy at the thought of having less points to eat! It just makes it easier knowing I haven't been using all of my weekly allowance points, so if I really want to sneak that extra daily point back in from time to time, I could.

So that's it for now. I'm heading to the gym tonight. I have to make a pit stop at the mall for work to chat up the Bath & Body Works and Victoria's Secret ladies about their new fragrances. I can't wait to get home and relax!

Idol Quick Picks!

This week has been MADDENING! But we're over the hump and soon it'll be another glorious weekend. In the meantime, we get by as we can. For me, this week it's wine and Idol.

I always look forward to Movie Music week. There's usually a fairly good variety of songs, ranging from blah to fantastic.

This week was kind of an all-around "meh" week for me. It didn't seem like anyone picked a song from a movie that they had actually seen or gave two shats about. Yes, I said shats. Ok, I take that back for Kris (Chris? How come I can never remember how his name is spelled?) Allison picked a rock song, Danny picked a ballad, Anoop did a ballad with a soulful twist, Lil sucked...It was just plain boring!

With the exception of Adam. I just can't help but watch him with my mouth gaping open in wonder. He's out of this world. I'm very tempted to cease my Idol picks and just declare him this year's winner, because he's light years ahead of the rest of the pack.

So here it is:

Adam wins.

Everyone else gets record deals and goes on tour. Whoopdeedoo.

Lil is left in the dust still trying to convince America that she's good enough for this competition.

Tune in tonight for the real results!

Weighing In on Wednesday

A little bit of a change, and this'll be a quick one. This week has been rather crazy (more on that later).

This week: -1.4
Total Loss w/WW: -4.8
Total Loss since 1/1/09: -10

I'm feeling really good, my pants are fitting much easier (even a bit loosely!), and I've been noticing toning in my arms. I'm continuing to do the 30 Day Shred as many nights as I can, getting to the gym when I can, and it's nice to be seeing some progress after nearly a month of plateauing. I have reigned in some problems I was having (namely weekends and salt intake before weigh-ins), and am hoping to enter the next lowest "decade" of pounds this month, which means one less point per day with WW.

Oh, and all the delicious Easter candy staring at me in all the stores right now, though tempting, just isn't worth it.

Idol Picks

Well, if you watched Idol on DVR last night like I did, you were probably incredibly frustrated when the recording cut out mid-commercial, leaving us hanging for Adam Lambert.

Here is a video posted of his performance of Mad World (1982), and it was in a completely different league from anyone else last night. Even Simon gave it a standing ovation.

Who's In: By far, Adam is at the top, followed close behind by Danny and Allison.

Who's Ok: These yo-yo performancers are up one week, down the next, but this was an "up" week for Anoop and Matt.

Who's In Danger: Scott, Lil, and Kris struggled last night. I think Kris has a strong enough fan base, and he's been solid the past three weeks.

Who's Out: I think it's safe to say it'll be curtains for either Lil or Scott. Scott has a lot of support because of his disability, but his talent just isn't cutting it. It was painful last night. And Lil just isn't wowing anyone. In my opinion, she has not had a great week in this whole competition.

Who are your picks?

A Little Indulgence

I have a new love. Don't worry, Sean, not that kind of love. I experienced something new and wonderful this weekend, which is decidely going to be my personal indulgence from now on.

I got my first facial.

I got a recommendation from a fellow Knottie for the spa she works at, about an hour away from where I live. I made the appointment after visiting the website and seeing that it looked like a really nice, tranquil atmosphere, and the you couldn't beat the price. It was $75 for a deluxe facial, and I printed out a $10 off coupon from their website.

It was FANTASTIC. I haven't ever been to a spa, and the atmosphere was so calming from the moment I stepped in the door. Saturday was a very gray, blustery day, and when I walked in, it was warm, with soothing Enya type music, an smelled of my favorite aromatherapy scents. What I wouldn't give to work in a place like that!

Lucy, the esthetician, was very sweet and answered all my questions. She made recommendations on how to care for my skin, and things I have been doing which are excessive or damaging. Then I stripped down and put on the towel robe thingy, got under the warm blankets and.....

Ahhhhhhh......I was instantly relaxed. It was so peaceful and warm and I just shut out all thoughts of work, wedding and stress. She massaged my shoulders, neck and head, and every product smelled wonderful and soothing. They use Yonka products, and I splurged on the cleanser and toner, which I have used night and day since Saturday and my skin already feels so much better.

This is the kind of luxury I have no problem bestowing upon myself once every 5-6 months. It's completely worth the 1-hour drive to get away from "my world" and relax and feel spoiled and refreshed. I made another appointment for September, a week before my friend's wedding.

After experiencing that peacefulness, I'm trying to be more mindful of myself and keep the stress level down. It's not worth it to get worked up over the little things.

Biting The Bullet on DIY

I am a creative person. I like doing creative things, I love projects, I love looking at something that's finished knowing that I have done it all by myself.

However- I am biting the bullet. I have been pouring over all these wedding invitation and craft supply websites, trying to find the best, most cost-effective way to get materials to make my own invitations.

Well, since seeing other girl's DIY invitations all over the knot, I have fallen in love with pocket-fold invites, and there is no cheap way to make your own. I have hemmed and hawed over buying card-stock in bulk with the idea of printing and cutting it all out by myself. And a wave of reality washed over me today while crunching numbers...For an extra $100 over what I originally budgeted for the DIY kits you can buy at Staples ($30 for 50 plain invitations, envelopes, response cards, and response envelopes x2 for 100 invites), I can order pre-cut inserts, invitation mats, sized envelopes, and pocket-folds and have the invitations that deep down I really want.

I know that invitations are not such a big deal to many. People look at them, hang on to them for the pertinent invitation, and our mothers will probably keep it and scrapbook it or whatever. But I still want to design them. And I don't want people to open them up, knowing I designed them, and see things cut crookedly or shelacked together, looking like a kindergarten project. So I am prioritizing my time and nerves over money, and spending the extra dough to get the nicely cut paper, the color I want, the sizes I want, and it will be delivered to me and ready to be printed and assembled.

It'll be a labor of love, that's for sure. And I don't feel so bad knowing that a lot of people easily spend between $300 and $1000 on invitations, and ours will be original to us, costing about $160 in the end...

That is, before stamps.

Jackpot!

I think I may have found the perfect artwork to do some decorating with. It ties in my love for baseball, Boston, and the ocean. I found two pieces, and I am waiting for the pricing to get prints. If they're reasonably priced, I'm going for it!

And of course I will share them with you if I get them!

Horoscopes and Such

I am on a blogging roll today!

I recently added to my Google Homepage gadgets a daily horoscope, and the past two days have frighteningly reflected my exact thoughts and feelings. Without elaborating too much...

3.31.09 You may find yourself in a classic Libra moment today, hanging in the balance. You are unable to make up your mind now about your long-term goals. Should you undertake a new course of study or take a trip? Perhaps what you choose is less important than actually doing something big at this time. Although you'll need to acknowledge your current limitations, your life is on the launch pad and ready to blast off.

4.1.09 You have mixed feelings about work now. On one hand you are ready to take charge and do whatever is necessary for you to reach your goals. On the other hand, you are tired of pushing yourself with your own motivational tools. Either way will likely leave you wishing that you listened to the other voice. The way out, however, is to keep both hands busy by being both active and passive in your pursuit of success.

Idol Picks

Last night's performances were more or less just ok for me. I think the judges are giving some spot on advice to these contestants, and whether they take that advice or not is definitely helping or hurting them.

Who's In: Danny, Adam, Kris (Chris?). Each had solid performances, took risks, and made the songs their own. Danny's was less original, but his heart was 100% in it. Adam, love him or hate him, is a fantastic performer. And Chris is the dark horse of this competition, if you ask me. He's peaking at just the right time to possibly make it to the top 5.

Who's Ok: Allison. She had a strange night. It was ok, but not fantastic. She could have really pulled off something like Since You've Been Gone, Pink, anything a little upbeat, really. But she showed she can rock the guitar, which was a welcomed surprise. I thought she looked cute in her outfit they kept ragging on her about, but it was a little too Hot Topic for me.

Who's Out: Megan, Scott, Anoop, Lil, Matt....Oh wait, isn't that the rest of the contestants? Megan is just not cutting it. Anoop isn't the seasoned performer he tries to be. Lil keeps picking the wrong song, and honestly, I just don't think she's as great as everyone keeps saying. And she needs a new stylist. Matt is trying so hard to be a rock star, and he's destined for R&B. Stop fighting it, Matt! And Scott, as talented as he is for the challenges he faces every day, he's just not as good as my top 3. It's time for the sympathy votes to stop and let the guy go.

Bottom 3 Picks: Megan, Scott, Matt

Who Will Go? I hate to say it, but Matt. After being in the bottom 3 last week, and having aq horrible performance last night, I think he'll be on his way out. And unlike last week, I do not think the judges will save him.

Over the Hump in More Ways Than One

Besides the obvious fact that it is Wednesday and therefore Hump Day...

I am a bit delayed in posting this, but at my weigh in on Monday I was -.2 lbs, which after a weekend away and eating out, trying to make good choices, I was actually happy with. I've been eating "clean" the past two days (limited processed food, lots of veggies and fresh fruit and whole grains). Returning to the gym last night for what felt like the first time in two weeks (I only got there once last week), I used their scale in the locker room which measure to the tenth of a pound. I was down .5 lb from my WW meeting the night before. And this morning, my scale told me I have possibly lost another pound.

And so, my dear friends, I seem to have passed over the hump, or in this case, plateau, which had left me frustrated for the majority of March. I am feeling refreshed and more motivated to keep making good food choices, and to make the time to exercise when I can. For instance, today I am babysitting after work, so I will be walking to Trader Joe's at lunchtime to pick up my salad, rather than hopping in the car and driving literally two minutes down the road.

I hope you're having a great week so far. April is looking to be a much nicer month in comparison to March. I was relieved to not wake up to a blizzard (I expect it every year since it happened in 1995), and spring is indeed upon us.

Cheers!

Wedding Drama Begins...

Last night, Sean and I received an email from his parents, which resulted in a good 15 minutes of sheer panic, horror, and unrest. Here's what it said...

Hi Sean and Shannon

I am sending this to both of you in an email so that you guys have a chance to discuss it before responding to us..

Here goes,

Dad and I would like to do a wedding vow renewal at your ceremony. We have been thinking about it for a long time and thought that this would be the perfect opportunity. Everyone we would like to be there would be. Mrs. A____ gave me the idea. She was singing at a wedding this weekend and the parents of the bride did a vow renewal. She said it was truly beautiful. The daughter wore a traditional wedding gown and the mother wore a beige one. The parents stood up with their kids and said their vows at the same time! She even got a copy of the ceremony for us to refer to.

We can talk about this more but I wanted to give you a chance to think about it and not just spring it on you. Of course you have the final say.

Hugs and kisses,
mom and dad

After discussing with Sean for a good 10 minutes on how to handle this, all the while thinking it was wildly inappropriate, but feeling like a selfish brat for feeling like it's our day, it's not supposed to be all about them...So Sean called his friend who frequently sings at weddings for advice. His friend said that in all the years he's done weddings, he's never heard of something like this, and that he thought it would completely disrupt the Mass.

Sean called his parents. I told him to be gentle, it sounded like they had their hearts set on this. We planned on suggesting that they do it at the rehearsal dinner, since family would be there, they could still get dressed up. We were going to make this work! Just not in the middle of our wedding...I was still torn though because I was worried my parents would feel overshadowed. I would have suggested that they also renew their vows, but they didn't have a Catholic wedding.


Well, it turns out that it was a complete April Fool's joke! A day early! And we completely fell for it! I was laughing my butt off for a good 30 minutes, and his mom called to make sure I wasn't upset and we talked for a good 15 minutes and had a good laugh. I just couldn't believe they got us. After 6 years of Sean pulling the wool over their eyes, they finally got their revenge. The first words out of her mouth were "Welcome to the family!".

Now, had this been within 6 months of the wedding, I might not have been such a good sport about it, but it was actually very funny at this point. I had been feeling like planning had been going incredibly smooth and drama-free. So when I saw that email, I wanted to die! All of those fragile emotions that come with getting married were rearing their head.

Thank God it was just a joke, because seriously, that would have been ridiculous.