No Day But Today

Todays post is inspired by a favorite song of mine from the musical Rent, which Idina sang an arrangement of last night. Some of the lyrics are...

There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today...

I can't control
My destiny
My only goal is just
To be...

Do you ever find yourself living in the future? Not actually warping time, of course, but making plans, constantly trying to see what's ahead instead of what's right there in the present?

I am constantly worrying about the future. Well, I don't know if worrying is the correct word...I like to plan. I like knowing what's coming up not just in the month or so ahead, but throughout the year. When I get a fresh calender at work, I immediately fill in my family's birthdays and anniversaries, and anything I already know is happening. I am always looking forward to a wedding or a birth, or a celebration of some sort. I feel like at time, I lose focus of the day I'm existing in while focusing on what's coming up. It's easy to do this around the holidays, as a glance at my calender will tell you the month is already jam packed, but I feel like it's more and more becoming a regular thing for me to focus on the future instead of the now.

I don't know anyone who successfully lives each day completely in the moment. I think it's important to remind myself that today is the only today I have. I'm not guarenteed the vacation I want to take in the spring with Sean, or that something might come up and I can't go to so and so's wedding. I can only really live right now, love right now, and hope for the best in what's to come.

I am constantly learning new things about myself as an adult. I am a lot less laid back about things than I thought I was. Is this a lifestyle change I've recently gone through? Have I always been like this and just wanted to be seen as laid back? Is it a result of my job and my need for attention to detail? Who knows...I wish I could be more laid back and not care about some things. I suppose it's just how I need to be at this point in my life to accomplish my goals.

This also applies to an area of my life I've been trying to improve upon for well, years it feels like. My health. I feel like I am always trying to lose 20-25 pounds, and I never get there. And I think it's because I focus too much on the big number, the finish line, without trying to conquer the small bumps and hill in the road that will get me there. So I am going to make a list of short term goals that will hopefully put me on the right track and keep me in line.

• Replace soda and coffee with water.
• Less red meat, more lean meat (less meat in general)
• Do something active every day, whether it's cardio, strength training, or dancing around the living room like a lunatic for 20 minutes.
• De-stress (this will probably have many subcategories to work on)
• Encourage myself! Recognize when I feel good and energetic and happy and celebrate those achievements.

I feel like that's a good starting point. Nothing new, nothing surprising. But a good starting point.